Trust Starts with You

“I have a hard time trusting people.”

“I never feel like I can trust my husband (or wife).”

It is very common for me, in my work as a counselor, to hear the above statements. Trust issues abound in relationships. However, resolving trust issues is not about getting another person to be trustworthy. It’s about you become a trustworthy person with yourself and learning to trust yourself.


How often do you promise yourself you are going to do something and then don’t do it? For example, we often promise ourselves to:

* Get the taxes done on time.

* Catch up on email, phone calls, and other correspondence.

* Eat better.

* Drink less alcohol.

* Stop reckless spending, gambling, or whatever puts us in financial distress.

* Stop getting angry.

* Stop giving ourselves up.

* Lose weight.

* Get more exercise.

* Get more sleep (or sleep less).

* Get together with friends.

* Clean up the house, or clean up the clutter.

* Be on time.

* Watch less TV or spend less time on the computer.

* Meditate or pray.

* Take time for ourselves.

* Finish a project.

* And so on…..

If you promise yourself you will do something and then you don’t do it, you are not being trustworthy with yourself. This would be like promising a child something and then not doing it. Eventually the child would learn not to trust you. The same applies with your Child within. If you promise yourself – your Inner Child – that you will take care of yourself in some way and then you don’t do it, the Inner Child learns that there is no inner adult to trust. Since many of us project onto others our own inner issues, it is likely that if you are not trustworthy with yourself, you will project untrustworthiness onto others. You will continue to distrust others as long as you are not behaving in a trustworthy way with yourself and with others.


Many of us grew up with parents who did not trust our feelings and perceptions. We might have been told that what we felt and what we experienced was wrong.

Mother: Put on a sweater. It’s cold outside.

Child: I’m not cold.

Mother: You’re just a child. What do you know? Put on a sweater.

Mother: Go give your Uncle Sam a kiss.

Child: No, I don’t like Uncle Sam. He’s creepy.

Mother: Of course you like Uncle Sam. Now go give him a kiss.

Child: My teacher is really mean to me.

Father: I’m sure your teacher is very nice. If your teacher is mean to you, it must be your fault.

Child: Daddy, why are you angry at me?

Father: I’m not angry.

After a while, we learn to discount and mistrust our feelings and perceptions. We learn to give our authority away to our parents and other adults, deciding that others must know more about what we feel, want and perceive than we do. We abandon our inner knowing and stop trusting ourselves.

I have worked with many people who felt deeply betrayed by someone, only to discover in the course of our work together than they had betrayed themselves by not listening to themselves. I often hear statements such as:

“I knew when we first met that Frank was lying to me about his money situation, but I didn’t listen to myself. I believed him instead of believing myself, and now I’m stuck with all this debt.”

“I had a feeling that Katherine was having affairs even before we got married but I didn’t listen to myself. The last thing I ever wanted was to be divorced with children.”

We can often feel in our bodies what is true and what is untrue, yet many of us don’t listen to these inner messages. Instead, we put our trust in others and then feel betrayed when others let us down. When we choose to listen to and trust our own inner voice rather than give our power away to others, we will no longer put ourselves in positions to be used and betrayed.

How often have you ignored yourself when something didn’t feel right, only to later discover that you really did know that something wasn’t right? How often have you heard the voice of your inner or Higher Self and discounted it, only to regret it later?

Your trust issues with others will be resolved when you become a trustworthy adult with yourself – following through on what you say you will do, and when you learn to trust your inner knowing. It will be harder for others to get away with unloving acts toward you when you learn to trust yourself.

This article is offered for free use in your ezine, print publication or on your web site,

Oli works full time as a Market Analyst.He graduated in Management.He can help you to grow your computer consulting. For more on teaching and education, be sure to check out the website. Involved in FREE advertisement for all kind of online businesses. Everyone needs business exposure. There’s FREE advertising gift for your business.

You’ll want to Write A Will And Wills And Probate Solicitors Can Actually Help You With This

As everybody is aware of, a will can be a testimonial by way of writing which is left by a relative of yours, it could possibly be your parents, or your cousins. They had been the people who just passed away. Inside a will what’s stated will be the distribution of quite a few properties that that individual wants to share to all of you being a component of their loved ones. The presence of this will not only issues on funds matter; as what other think of, they have mistaken this to that of the financial testimonial. Often the individual who died may have some last words for you.  

This point was all created doable using the presence with the probate solicitor. Formal writing is intended for this document. And approval and signature with the various monetary authorities is badly required. But you could possibly as well wonder what those are or that are those probate solicitors? Properly they’re the 1 that are taking the responsibility on the legality in the will. They’re the one who makes certain that the procedure of constructing the will or any other estates was confirmed correct and are produced with some individual that could testify the correctness of that. They are also the ones who clarify how the manner of distributing has to run. They also see to it that the ones which had been entitled to manage the properties that were left for them was responsibly getting taking care of.  

Why is there seriously a need to write a will? Why is there a need to have for a probate solicitor? Wills are necessarily done to possess a legal writing or document in assigning the distinct properties that was left by a decease person. The manner of writing this can avoid a lot of misunderstanding and can even trigger fights among families. Using the aid in the will they may be conscious that what exactly is stated there is certainly only the component that was entrusted to them. The probate solicitor’s job will now then come up. He will take the responsibility of acting as if he was the 1 who created the will. He will then be the one to explain how that could was created through legal aspects. As well as not forget the probate solicitor are going to be the one to answer all of the queries from the left family.  

On the other hand writing such this may can also be accomplished personally. But come to think of it, how come will those factors can still matter if the individual had died? That is why the must hire or appoint a probate solicitor matters most. By way of them you may safely certain that somebody is administering all the legal matters necessary in your will. The hiring or appointing of probate solicitor is just not basically as challenging as what other people would say. They are just a road away. It will not lead to any tension on you. Also they do not price genuinely that substantially.

To find out much more about utilizing wills and probate solicitors please check out our website for numerous useful information and guidance.

Life of an Elder Care Specialist

An elder care specialist is often depicted as a pitiful individual who faces every day talking to and convincing elderly folks and their families to come up with a specific plan for their future healthcare needs.  

Individuals, whose line of work concerns ensuring the comfort of the elderly and that they continue their normal independent lives despite receiving custodial or medical care, are oftentimes thought as sad and full of pessimism.

In reality, the truth is actually the contrary of all these misconceptions that many people have of elder care specialists.  They happen to be jolly people who have a very rich sense of humor.  As a matter of fact, it is this very reason that they manage to let people who are nearing the age of retirement realize the importance of planning their future healthcare needs.    

Sometimes, if not always, it’s the children of elderly people who get more stressed out trying to convince their parents to look into various long term care (LTC) facilities so that it will be easier for everybody by the time they would require custodial care or assistance in the activities of daily living (ADL).

Course, these adult children have their families and careers to focus on so whether they admit it or not, the idea of providing intensive care to their parents in the future is somehow a threat to their goals and finances. 

This may appear to be selfish but in reality it’s normal to feel this way because everybody is entitled to choose his own path in life.  Some are born caregivers while others are simply designed for something else.

Seeking Help from an Elder Care Specialist

Lucky are those senior citizens whose kids turned out to be elder care specialists because they don’t have to explain their fears of growing old.  Apart from having completed courses and trainings that are prerequisites for a job on the field of elder care, these individuals just have the innate quality to take care of other people otherwise convincing one to plan his life after retirement would be an ordeal.

Who wants to talk about aging in the first place?  It’s the closest topic to death but somehow elder care professionals can manage to veer senior men and women from thinking about the negative aspect of the subject.

They never fail to let people moving towards the retirement age realize the financial security that they could get out of their LTC plan.  It is also important to acknowledge people in the elderly care profession as they have succeeded in erasing the notion that only nursing homes offer LTC. 

There is in fact a big aging-in-place population at present and this was made possible by the unique convincing power of a group of professionals that aim to prepare their senior clientele for life after retirement.

If you’re wondering where an elder care specialist gets inspiration to pull it off every single time that he or she gets to speak with an older person, she’ll simply tell you that she is a daughter, niece and a granddaughter.  But more than these things she, too, will retire someday when she’s old and frail, and when that time happens it’s nice to have something to look back on and be proud of.    

Make your senior life more convenient by hiring an elder care specialist now. Visit now to know more about the benefits and quality of our senior care.

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Real Estate Investing

I had it on my calendar yesterday to do my annual Game Planning Session and although the snow around DC delayed my start time, I was still able to get it done. And by the way, I call it “Game Planning” instead of business planning because it includes personal goals such as exercise, diet, personal finance and family issues. I prefer to have it all in one plan because the things I want to accomplish are so interrelated, not to mention time-sensitive. I have to stay on a pretty tight schedule in order to fit everything in.

You may have noticed from my previous blog posts that I often like to organize my thoughts into a list. I think that format will work well in this situation (of course I think that)…so here we go:

Chris’ tips to an Effective Business/Game Planning Session

1. Make it an appointment on your calendar, like any other, and don’t miss it. Treat is as being very important because, well, it is.
2. Do it at a location other than your office or home. In those places, where you spend almost all of your time, it is too likely you’ll be distracted by your usual routines. For this planning session you want to be away from your normal activities so you are able to focus and think in a way that you don’t think when you’re in the everyday grind. Pick a place where you are comfortable but can concentrate. I went to Barnes and Noble and sat in a big chair in the corner of the upstairs. It worked out pretty well.
3. Do it during business hours. This is when your brain is functioning the best because you are used to thinking and concentrating during this time. At night you are tired and your brain is slower. On the weekends you are thinking about weekend stuff. During the work day is the way to go.
4. Turn off your cell phone and close your email. I know it sounds drastic but it’s important. Your Crackberry or Iphone is the biggest distraction ever invented. Email is a close second. You can’t have that when you are planning your next 12 months.
5. Brain dump. Open up MS Word and just let it flow. You can re-write later. Think, write and repeat. You’ll be surprised at some of the things that come out. They are probably things you had in your brain…you just weren’t completely conscious of them. It’s pretty cool.
6. Don’t forget dates! As they say, “A goal without a timeline is just a wish.” Mark the exact date by which you will accomplish a certain task.
7. If the goal is big and/or complicated, include the steps to get there and the resources you’ll need to make it happen. Don’t just throw out something big like “launch e-commerce website” without a step by step process to get there.
8. Concerning production numbers- set the bar high and shoot for it. I used to work with some guys who would set their production goal way low and double it every year. What is the point of that?
9. Take breaks! You want to be fresh during all of this, not rushing to get it done. If you need a break, take one and drink some coffee or something.
10. Re-read it the next day. You’ll re-write, elaborate and clarify some things. You’ll also enjoy what you were able to get on paper.


This is a tip from Julius Park at Crazy 88 BJJ & MMA- post your plan in a place where many people can see it. It will do wonders for accountability. It’s also very ballsy and I have to admit I am still too chicken to do this. Haha. Maybe next year!

I hope you enjoyed my list. Best of luck with your 2011 game planning!


Harold Money
Hard Money Bankers, LLC

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What You Ought To Know About Finding A Lawyer

Those looking for some sort of legal representation may be at a loss as to how to find a good lawyer. It’s important that you remain calm. It can seem intimidating, but it’s not that difficult. Continue reading in order to get more information.

A bad decision to make is picking the first lawyer who comes your way. Research wisely since there may be serious consequences for you if you don’t. Therefore, make sure you ask other people and discover all you can on your potential lawyers.

Always ask for a lawyers history before agreeing to use his services. Lawyers aren’t always reliable just because they are licensed. Be certain to understand his or her background so that you have confidence in their capabilities.

TIP! You need to get a good lawyer immediately if you have been accused of a major crime. Do not take it upon yourself to handle the legal proceedings; you may end up in more trouble than before.

Check to make sure your lawyer is available to answer your calls or emails. Many people complain about not having a lawyer who is easily reachable. You don’t want to be left pondering the what if’s just because your lawyer is out golfing.

You may want a retainer through a lawyer so you are ready for whatever may happen. By doing this, you can pick the right lawyer while not under pressure. If you keep your personal lawyer on retainer, you will constantly have legal advice available to you.

Speak with your inner circle prior to doing your own research. By speaking with friends, neighbors and family, you may be able to get a great suggestion on a lawyer that successfully dealt with a case of theirs. This can help you save both money and time.

If you come across a lawyer who is actively looking for you, avoid hiring them. This is often the domain of scammers. Make sure that you do your own research, and if something looks too good to be true then it probably is.

TIP! Hire a lawyer that is accessible. A lot of people are disappointed because their lawyer is impossible to get in touch with.

Understand what you can afford. It may not be worth it cost wise to file or fight a lawsuit. As you interview potential lawyers ask about their fees upfront. By meeting with each lawyer and discussing your financial resources, you can avoid unpleasant surprises down the road. This will put you in the safest position possible from a monetary perspective.

Having an open line of communication with your lawyer is very important. Learn the deadlines and make sure all of the paperwork is ready to go. Your cooperation will facilitate your case.

Pulling together relevant paperwork for your dispute prior to your initial meeting with your attorney can save you time and money right up front. You will get an estimate that’s more accurate on what an attorney will charge you if you have things prepared. Efficiency can help trim your legal expenses greatly.

Even though hiring a lawyer can seem pricey, it could actually end up saving you money in the long-run. A lawyer who just handles general legal matters may have to spend more hours learning about the legal implications of your case. A specialist will spend less time and, perhaps, be cheaper.

TIP! Don’t just go into the yellow pages and pick the lawyer at the top of the page! This is one choice you need to get right. You don’t want to find out that you choose the wrong lawyer and end up losing your case.

Observe the friendliness of those who work in a potential lawyer’s office. See if they return your calls promptly and if they are pleasant when doing so. You can take the hint if the lawyer’s office takes too long returning your phone call.

Stay away from attorneys who boast that they can easily win your case. If you’ve got a lawyer who thinks that, then that lawyer is not really very good. It can be tricky dealing with different laws, and you need an experienced lawyer. This is a critical decision; treat it accordingly.

Make sure you understand whatever legal issues you are dealing with prior to hiring a lawyer. If you’re unsure of your issues, you can’t very well explain them to a lawyer. Research your exact scenario. It will really help you make a more informed decision.

Don’t sign up to work with a lawyer when you don’t feel very comfortable with them. Also, watch out for unreasonable fees. Don’t give them a blank check! Be sure to get a solid estimate at the outset to prevent the situation snowballing beyond your ability to pay.

TIP! Find out if the lawyer is experienced with your case type. Simply because your lawyer may be knowledgeable about your case doesn’t guarantee he or she is the right candidate for it.

If you aren’t sure whether your lawyer is adequate for your case, obtain another opinion from someone else. It might not be feasible to switch lawyers because that can be very expensive. Second opinions are a good idea prior to making any decision.

When you learn about the various lawyers out there and all of the legal issues they handle, you will find that everything falls into some simple groups which are easy to understand. Make some calls, ask a lot of questions and you’ll be closer to finding the help you need. Good luck in all of your endeavors.

How to avoid bankruptcy mistakes?

Filing a bankruptcy petition is said to be the best option especially for those people who can not repay the debts. It is important for every individual to get the complete bankruptcy information because it affects financial record badly for the years to come. Following are bankruptcy mistakes anyone can make so these would help you to take good and wise decisions:


- Bankruptcy should be the last option for every UK citizen. Never file bankruptcy without trying other available options. It is nice decision to eliminate the debts but do not forget about the long lasting affects on credit report. It is a legal procedure and court can sell your assets as well to recover the amount of creditors.

- Honesty is the best policy in life and it is more important in bankruptcy procedure. It may be one of the biggest bankruptcy mistakes if you do not provide the correct information to court. It is not advisable to provide fake details about your financial condition just to get the government’s approval.

- It could not be a good idea to take another loan just to pay off the existing debts. Initially, you may find it profitable or good but at the end of the day you are just adding up the pressures of finance.

- As we all know that bankruptcy is a legal process and involves lot of formalities. Always take the advice from the experts or bankruptcy attorneys before filing it. They are professionals and guide you better according to the circumstances. If your financial condition does not allow you to hire attorneys then you can go with public attorneys. These experts are appointed by government to provide free service to UK citizens who can not pay the heavy fees of regular attorneys.


These all are bankruptcy mistakes which could be made by anyone knowingly or unknowingly. But, bankruptcy is a serious matter indeed and it can affect your personal and financial life for a long period. You have to consider all exiting and upcoming points in your mind before filing bankruptcy.

Borton Stevens is an expert author and has more then 7 years of experience in writing finance related topics. To know more about bankruptcy mistakes Visit:

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Prenuptial Agreements Serve Important Estate Planning Function

Prenuptial agreements still get a bad rap. People often crack jokes when talking about them, saying they are for the paranoid, the pessimistic, and the greedy. And how unromantic they are.

But wanting or signing a prenup doesn’t mean you are planning for divorce. In reality, they serve a very important estate planning function, particularly in second marriages. Such agreements can also be made after marriage and are called post-nuptial agreements.

Imagine this scenario: Two people marry, each with children from a previous marriage, and they do not do a prenuptial agreement.

Eventually one spouse dies, and the other continues on. A problem can occur when the second spouse dies. All or most of the assets of both spouses, from their first and second marriages, may then pass on to the children of the second spouse to die, either inadvertently or intentionally. And the children of the first spouse to die are left hurt and resentful.

How could this have been avoided? The first tip is to keep assets titled separately. And since a prenuptial agreement is a contract between spouses, legal rights can be waived. So rather than having the house pass automatically on the first spouse’s death to the second spouse, (which then could pass to his/her heirs or beneficiaries with the chance that the children of the first spouse to die will be left out) you can spell out in a prenup how you want proceeds of the sale of the marital home and other assets to be divided. (You can also provide that the surviving spouse can live in the home until his/her death.)

When considering a prenuptial agreement, you must keep two things in mind. There must be full disclosure by each party of all their assets and liabilities, and each spouse must be represented by their own lawyer before signing. Check with your estate planning attorney as to how a prenup can help you realize your financial goals.

Paul Kraft is co-founder and administrative principal of Frank & Kraft, P.C., one of the leading law firms in Indiana in the area of estate planning as well as business, tax and financial planning. For more information on estate planning function and other estate planning services, visit our website.

How can Elderly Avoid Accidents

Most elderly people face dangers in their own homes every day, if their homes are not secure and made fit for their living. Just like baby-proofing the apartment or homes, elderly people also need special equipment and certain caution in order to protect them from accidents like slipping and falling, or colliding against something. Elderly people should take extra care about such things since their body will be sensitive and takes longer to recuperate from accidents. There are several things that the family members must take care of, in order to make the homes suitable for the stay of elderly people.

Clutter free

Firstly, the house of the elderly must be free of clutter, so that there are no inhibitions for their everyday movement around the house. All loose items that are not very clearly visible should be put into storage and de-cluttered. Leaving electric wires loosely around the house may cause them to slip and fall. The flooring must always be kept damp, to prevent any mishaps when elderly people are moving around the house. Elderly people tend to have poor eyesight, so anything that they cannot take notice of must be removed from the floor. If there are hardwood floors, covering them up with slip resistant carpeting or area rugs is advisable. Rearranging the shelves of kitchen and living room, to have most frequently used items at reachable height and distance for the elderly is advisable.

Safety equipment

Elderly people need assistance in climbing up and down the stairs, in order to reach the top floors of the house. Having Stair lift equipment and powered vehicle in the house to help elderly get around the house can avoid unnecessary falls or undesirable circumstances. Special lighting to highlight fire escapes and to give them caution of tricky areas around the house is required. Also, since they have poor vision, they need bright lights to identify things, and prevent unnecessary accidents. If there are any electronics that are used, they should be kept in spacious rooms and if possible at an elevation, to avoid any accidents when they are in use. Installing railing in the bathrooms to help elderly be more cautious in slippery conditions is advised. Checking the walls for loose nails, or checking the porch for loose boards, and other hazardous materials should be part of regular maintenance.

Medical and other emergencies

Elderly people must have an alarm system within accessing distance at all times of the day. They must have an alarm system that they can trigger when they feel it is a health emergency, or they have an undesirable presence in their homes. This makes it easier for them to live in confidence, and will alert the necessary officials in case of an emergency. The security system of housing must be in place, with all the bolts for the doors and windows strengthened. Usually, lonely elderly people are more vulnerable to breaking and entering and thefts, so they need to have a robust security system in place. Elderly people deserve to live in peace, and safeguarding the house against all possible dangers helps them relax.

Are you looking for Home Care in Berkeley CA or for Elderly Care in Berkeley
CA, Never Stop Caring is just a call away.

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Depression and the Elderly

Down in the dumps, hopeless and helpless, feeling that all of your best days behind you or no one really cares? And on top of it all, you keep getting older.

This is how many older people feel on a daily basis. Which is why depression represents one of our great fears of aging? Everyone has these feelings to some extent. There is no need to be ashamed of these feelings; they are justified and normal.

The depth and duration of depression vary greatly among people. Severe depression can cause weight loss, sleeplessness slowing of movement and speech and even thoughts of suicide. Severe depression requires professional help. It can be alleviated, but sometimes it takes a good amount of time for the situation to improve.

Most depression in older individuals is much more easily handled and often the symptoms of depression are not recognized as depression. The depressed individual may complain of being tired, insomnia, pain in the muscles and joints and even constipation.

For older people suffering from depression who are often taking multiple medications at the same time, reviewing the medications is a good place to start. Medications like codeine and other pain killers as well as antihistamines can cause or aggravate depression. Some arthritis medications like prednisone and indomethacin have been known to cause depressive reactions in some people.

But often medication or the removal of medication is not the remedy. For older people that are feeling depressed, it is important to stay active and exercise. This can be done in many ways from a change in pace, to visiting friends, going on vacation, starting a new hobby and so much more. When increasing activity it is important for older people to know their limits. But it is also important for older people to recognize that they are not dead yet. Just because someone is 92 years old does not mean that they should not make long term plans or project and anticipate future events or do things that they have always wanted to do and just kept putting off.

In the event that you can’t alleviate you depression or it is very, very severe you should seek professional help right away. There are many healthcare consulting resources to point you in the right direction. With that being said, most depressions ease and disappear if a person works at living and keeps themselves active, but some people do need extra help.

For over a decade I have been an active contributor to multiple online health publications.

Planning Your Estate As Per The Legal Directives

Planning the administration of your estate and the distribution of the assets may not be an easy task on your own. Moreover, it is a constant reminder of your mortality. Therefore, many delay to take up the task. This is not the right thing to do. If you possess any property, sizeable or not, there is a need to plan it properly.

Illinois has specific laws in this regard. Any resident of Chicago requires taking help from a lawyer to do this according to these legal directives. You need to find answers to three basic questions who gets the property after you die, who takes medical decisions in case of your incapacity, who takes financial decisions in case of your incapacity.

The core elements of estate planning are as follows:

Will and Trust Creating a legal will would give you the opportunity to distribute your assets as per your wish. Make sure to get adequate legal help; otherwise, the court could later deem it invalid. If you die intestate, the Illinois laws dictate that your spouse and children get your property, thus eliminating any other individual you wish to bequeath.

Forming a trust arrangement, like an irrevocable living trust, could also be a way to administer your assets. This is more advantageous if you want to leave part of your assets to a minor or an incapacitated adult. It also saves your loved ones the lengthy and expensive probate process after your decease.

Advance Directive for Health Care In case a certain health condition leaves you incapable of taking decisions regarding your healthcare, this could be of immense help. Three options are available in Illinois

Living will predetermining whether you want life-prolonging procedures
Healthcare power of attorney giving the right of decision-making to another
Mental healthcare preference declaration determining which care you want

Power of Attorney When you sign a durable power of attorney, the objective is to appoint an individual/organization to take care of the financial decisions if you are unable to do so because of incapacity in future. This does not mean that you are handling your assets to him/her; it is only the administration of it in case of your disability to do so.

Whichever of these you are planning, getting help from an estate planning lawyer Chicago is imperative. The estate laws and their implications are quite a complex web, and it is better to let a legal practitioner handle it.

If you have come across any legal issues and do not know what to do and whom to ask, exploit this Houston Lawyer Directory to hire a professional lawyer to deal with your case.

James Blatt, editor of a legal journal, offers practical tips for handling legal issues concerning estate planning laws. If you are looking for a consultation with an Estate Planning Lawyer Chicago, she suggests you to visit

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